Here we're seeking to answer the question: Why do we date? The answer is to find someone to marry. If you can't see yourself marrying a person there is no point (from a Christian perspective) to date them.
Sure there are many non-Christian and unbiblical reasons to date: promiscuity, casual fun, variety, etc. But each of these reasons fails when we consider the Bible's call for the Christian (1) to Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and (2) to love your neighbor as yourself (Matt. 22:37-40). Dating casually is not doing either.
It is not loving your neighbor (person you are dating) as yourself because ultimately casual dating is playing games with people's hearts. Whether it's for sex, fun, variety, or what have you, casual dating ultimately ends in disappointment for both parties in one of many numerous ways. You were created by God to desire intimate community with other human beings. When God said in Gen. 1:26, "Let us make man in our image," it included God's nature to be in intimate community - i.e. the Trinity. Do you hear that language in Gen. 1:26? "Let us create man in our image."
Whether you admit to it or not you have an innate, created, undeniable, un-supress-able desire to be in intimate community with other human beings - and the ultimate realization of that desire is marriage. Therefore when you tease your innate human nature with little hints of satisfaction (dating) and then take them away you disappoint yourself and also the person you were dating. You can't dangle a steak in front of a dog then take it away and convince yourself it was good for him. Casual dating hurts people and cannot be justified biblically in any way.
Examine the reasons you want to date. Are you taking into account the feelings of the other person or are you simply trying to satisfy your own selfish needs? If you're dating, could you honestly see yourself marrying the person you are with? Could you see them as a parent to your future children? If not why are you with them? The reason cannot be biblical. I challenge you to find one.
If you are not dating, but wish to, pray for God to help you find that person you will one day spend the rest of your life with. While dating casually may seem like fun from the outside it hurts people and disappoints hearts. You were created for much more. Be the image-bearer of God Scripture calls you to be by seeking to satisfy your innate longing for community in a biblical way.
to be continued...
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