1. My prayers have changed.
When I was young I prayed for God to keep me safe when I was afraid of the dark. When I was in high school I prayed for God to give me some friends - and maybe a date. When I was in college I prayed for the salvation of an entire campus. When I was working right out of college I prayed for my marriage and the salvation of my co-workers. When I started seminary I prayed for the souls of all those I would one day minister to. This week I prayed for Owen to have a bowel movement. Things are different... but they're great.
2. I still love my wife first... yes, even before my son.
One thing that's been amazing is all the people who insinuated - but not explicitly said - that I would love my son more than my wife. I heard things like, "You love your wife but you would die for your son," or, "he'll be the apple of your eye." It's quite obvious... there are many wives and husbands out there who have children and immediately love their children more than their spouse. This is unbiblical and detrimental to marriages AND TO CHILDREN.
Ever wondered how couples can stay together for years and years and then all of a sudden get divorced? Often it's because they stayed together for the children, and once their children were grown and gone they had no more marriage. God calls me to love Him first and foremost, and next is my wife - even before my children. When I love those three people in that order all receive the greatest benefit. But when I love any of those three out of order everyone, including myself, suffers.
Husbands: love your wives before your children. God calls you to be a husband before he calls you to be a father. And I use the word before to signify both time and priority.
3. The kind of love I have for my son is much the same as the love I have for my wife... but for my wife it's much different.
A couple days ago Jen asked me if I felt loved Owen differently than I loved her - because for her it felt so different. But I had to answer that it wasn't much different at all, and the reason stems from my God-given role as a husband/father and Jen's God-given role as a wife/mother. God's roles for men as husbands and men as fathers are much the same - protectors, providers, leaders. But God's roles for women as wives and women as mothers are much different. As a wife Jen is called to be my helper and encourager. But as a mother she is called to be Owen's nurturer - the one who provides care, love, and sensitive wisdom. I thought that was very interesting but I never thought of it until the other day.
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